


Someone Crash This Party, Please

by completelyhopeless



Series: Darcy and the Hood [33]
Category: DCU, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Comment Fic, Community: comment_fic, Crack, Crossover, Crossover Pairings, F/M, Gen, Humor, Implied Relationships, Pre-Relationship, and one relationship is open to interpretation, at least they get introduced, reference to past Steve/Peggy, reference to possible Clint/Natasha
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-19
Updated: 2015-02-19
Packaged: 2018-03-13 17:30:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3390140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/completelyhopeless/pseuds/completelyhopeless
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dick finds Tony Stark annoying, Barbara enjoys his misery, Jason wants out, Darcy thinks she's got the perfect girl for Captain America, and right about now would be a great time for those bad guys to crash the party.</p><p>Aka, Avengers gala party, part one.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Someone Crash This Party, Please

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TourmalineQueen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TourmalineQueen/gifts).



> Because I was looking at prompts and I saw this: _[Thor/Marvel Cinematic Universe, Darcy + any/any, I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"](http://comment-fic.livejournal.com/430842.html?thread=68913914#t68913914)_
> 
> And I swore, out loud (very unlike myself, I promise) because I remembered that Zinda Blake is also time displaced. This was a bad, bad thought to have, especially since I've never written anything for her before.
> 
> CaraLee suggested that this tie into another story of mine, [What Does It Do?](http://archiveofourown.org/works/3154103) and that is how the first part of the story came about.

* * *

“I thought this was a credible threat,” Dick hissed in a low voice. “What the hell happened to that?”

“It is,” Barbara said with a frown. “What's wrong? And don't blame the suit—I know Alfred got you one that fit perfectly. He always does. And if it didn't fit, it would be obvious.”

Dick frowned, looking down at her. “Obvious how?”

Her lips curved into a smile. “How do you think, Hunk Wonder?”

“Oh.”

“You're not really surprised, are you?”

He shrugged. “So far, this night has been... weird. First off, you're in the field—which I don't mind, I love, actually, and don't start on the whole living in the past thing because that's not why it's awesome—but you usually do your heroic work behind the scenes these days. Second, we came in the same car with Jason. He didn't try to kill me. He and Darcy actually kept things almost... G rated, which I think owes to you being in the car because I swear they're _not_ that shy around me. Then we get here, and instead of the hassle I thought I'd get because I ran into a couple of Avengers before, I get Tony Stark, who will _not_ stop asking me what that thing in the Wayne Enterprises lobby does.”

Barbara frowned. “What thing in what lobby?”

“I think the one in Gotham, but I don't know. There's something weird in _every_ Wayne Enterprises building, and I don't know half of them. I don't even think _Lucius_ does.” Dick shook his head. “He told me I told him it was a bomb.”

“Sounds to me like Tony Stark is bombed, which, you know, is not an uncommon occurrence.”

“Babs,” Dick said, kneeling down next to her. “Did you really come to this party just to hack into Tony Stark's A.I?”

She just grinned.

* * *

“I hate this.”

“Quit pulling on your tie. You're going to ruin it, and Alfred made it look so nice,” Darcy said, reaching up to catch Jason's hand before he could ruin it. “And it matches my dress. So, please?”

“I hate that look of yours,” Jason muttered. “It's... almost evil.”

Darcy laughed. “You just say that because you feel like you have to give into every time, which is not true but I happen to like that you do, so I'm not going to stop you from doing it, not at all.”

Jason gave her a dark look. She grinned.

“Besides, you can't leave until you've danced with me. You owe me that much.” She looked around the crowded ballroom. “Especially if no one attacks this party and I dragged everyone here for nothing.”

“Well, Oracle is going to hack Stark's A.I, so she's happy,” Jason began, and Darcy smiled again, though she thought it was kind of sad that Barbara only came to hack a computer when she could be dancing with Dick. Or any of a hundred other hot guys here at the party. “And it looks like Huntress is getting chatted up by the Avengers' archer. Cute. They can bond over bows.”

“Not if she values her life. I think he's involved with the Black Widow.”

“You sure?”

“Well, if he's not, maybe he should be. Look at the death glare she keeps giving Huntress.”

“Canary's having fun, though. Didn't realize she could dance like that. It's probably better that I didn't know,” Jason said, and Darcy felt a bit jealous herself. Maybe she should have been more worried about Jason's whole fishnet comment than she'd realized. “Come on. Let's get this dance over with so we can have a much better party at home.”

“Sure,” Darcy agreed. “Just one thing I have to do first.”

“Wait, what? Darcy, come back here! Damn it...”

* * *

“Present!”

Steve blinked, almost losing sight of Darcy as she jumped back into the crowd, laughing. He wondered just how much she'd had to drink already and if that housebreaking boyfriend of hers was here. He had seen a guy with her, but he wasn't wearing a red mask this time—he had a red bow tie that matched Darcy's dress, but that didn't make him the same guy.

Was Steve insulting her by thinking she already had a new guy? A different one from the one that had broken into Avengers towers and insulted all of them? That guy couldn't really last with Darcy, could he? Even if she was a little forward— _a lot_ forward—that didn't make her a tramp or anything.

“Well, if it isn't the pin up poster I had on my wall until I accidentally burned it trying to make my hair do that peek-a-boo thing like a movie star,” the woman in front of him said, and Steve found himself staring at her instead. “Captain America. I swear every girl in my generation had a crush on you even after we heard you were dead.”

“Uh...”

“Zinda Blake,” she said, pushing back her hat, a black one that reminded him of a uniform, but her dress was _definitely_ not a uniform. “I will have to thank her for introducing us.”

“Um,” Steve said, wishing he could pull his collar loose. “I think it was clear she was setting us up, actually, and I don't know—”

“Are you fancy?” Zinda asked, and Steve choked, knowing he had to be red. He didn't think anyone even used that word to describe it these days.

“No. I mean, I—There was this girl and—”

“Agent Carter. Lucky woman. I would have liked to have met her. We could have been friends. Hell, if she wanted to take my place, then you two could still have been together.”

“What?”

“It was 1959 one day and the next...” Zinda shrugged.

“You were lost in time?”

“Yeah. Maybe she figured we'd understand each other. Commiserate and all that.”

“I'm not really sure that's what she had in mind when she brought me over to you and said 'Present!'” Steve said, and Zinda laughed. She wasn't Peggy, but she did have some characteristics in common, and she was right about people not knowing what it was like to lose time like that. He thought Bucky was the only other person who might, but now he knew there was someone else. He kind of liked not being alone. “I mean, this is Darcy we're talking about.”

Zinda took his glass and downed the rest of it in a shot. “Depends, I suppose, on whether I was the present for you or you were the present for me.”

Steve continued to stare at her. “I have no idea.”

* * *

“Yes! It worked!”

“Darcy,” Jason said, frowning at her. “You did not seriously set up the star spangled tightpants with Lady Blackhawk.”

“What? She's out of time, he's out of time... It's perfect.”

“You're insane. She's going to chew him up and spit him out.”

“Yeah, but he's going to enjoy it.”

Jason snorted. “I doubt it.”

“Why?” She asked with perfect innocence. “You do.”


End file.
